STEPHEN DAISLEY: Quiz ministers on their actions? Not on, old chap

Hypocrisy, thy name is Holyrood.

It’s only the second week back from recess and already I’m scunnered with the lot of them. 

First Minister’s Questions opened amid solemn speechifying about the news of Grangemouth’s impending closure. It was a time of ‘great uncertainty’ for the workers. The local community was reeling from ‘this significant economic shock’. 

It was ‘important that parliament acts with solidarity’ towards the refinery’s employees.

Maybe it’s just me, but I would’ve acted with solidarity by not clamouring for the oil and gas industry to be shuttered. 

The impending closure of Scotlands only remaining oil refinery at Grangemouth dominated the FMQs

I’d probably have paused and asked myself whether opposing oil exploration in the North Sea might have some consequences for people who earn a living refining said oil. 

Politics is the only profession where you can run someone over then send them a Get Well Soon card.

If it’s any consolation, the Grangemouth workforce weren’t the only ones in for this treatment. The parties each laid out their position on scrapping the Winter Fuel Payment. 

Read More

Scotland's only oil refinery to shut with the loss of 400 jobs

The Tories reckoned it was the fault of Labour and the SNP; the SNP that it was the fault of Labour but not the SNP; and Labour studiously avoided it altogether. Douglas Ross reminded John Swinney that this was a devolved benefit. 

The Scottish Government was at liberty to keep it going even after Westminster cut it off.

This attracted some grousing from the Nationalist benches, which only grew louder when the Tory leader asked how many elderly people were expected to die because of the policy change. 

Now, this is not the done thing. You’re not meant to confront ministers with the consequences of their actions. Poor form, old chap.

The first minister didn’t answer directly but he wanted everyone to know the Treasury had only give Scottish ministers a 90-minute heads-up. That’s how these things work. 

If their civil servants forget to phone yours, you have to impoverish 900,000 Scots. That’s just the rules.

Ross challenged the SNP leader’s assertion that it had been the Scottish Government’s intention to keep up the payments until Rachel Reeves took an axe to them. 

He quoted from a document from May which, he claimed, proved that SNP ministers had been considering cuts since May. Sputtering outrage issued forth from the Nationalist benches.

The Tory leader griped that civil service posts had hit ‘a record high’ and asked why ‘public sector pen-pushers’ were more important to Swinney than pensioners. Cue more shouty indignation. 

The first minister accused his opposite number of ‘plumbing the depths’. Rather a hazard of the job when you scrutinise the SNP for a living.

‘The SNP repeatedly calls for more powers,’ Ross observed, ‘but when it is given the chance to act, it runs in the opposite direction and blames Westminster.’

By now, they were getting boisterous. A series of tellings off from the presiding officer made little impact. Tory MSP Craig Hoy is a frequent flyer in this regard, a man who says little loudly. 

As Swinney persevered with an answer, Hoy yawped that Winter Fuel Payments were ‘not a priority for the Scottish Government’. ‘This is about priorities,’ he chuntered, then: ‘This is about pensioners’.

Swinney finally lost the rag and turned to the human megaphone: ‘Why are you shouting at me, Mr Hoy? You have to listen to the Presiding Officer and stop behaving badly!’

Alison Johnstone assured the first minister that she was ‘wholly prepared to chair this meeting’. Translation: I don’t need any help from you, matey.

Jackie Baillie was living her best life. Standing in for Anas Sarwar, she used her time for a series of statements that didn’t even bother with the pretence of a question mark at the end. 

Baillie wanted the chamber to know about all the fine things the new government had done already. On every reference, she referred to it as ‘the UK Labour government’, just in case we had already forgotten the winner of July’s election.

It certainly wasn’t the voters.