Pastors daughter speaks out after being sexually abused by him for years

A pastors daughter thought she had escaped a childhood of sexual abuse by moving out and getting married only to see her father break into her house and sodomize her weeks after she had a baby.

Bertheophilus Judge Bailey, a respected minister at St Andrew Christian Church in Tulsa began abusing Harmony Oates when she was in sixth grade, court documents claim.

He told his daughter he was her boyfriend and that the little girl would unleash a total catastrophe to the whole kingdom of God if she ever revealed what he was doing to her.

But he was arrested on Wednesday and charged with rape, child sexual abuse, incest, forcible sodomy and burglary, after the 22-year-old decided she had spent too long in the shadows.

He left me broken, shattered, a shell of the person I could have been, she wrote on Facebook. And yet, I refuse to let him define me.

Harmony Oates at church with Pastor Bertheophilus Judge Bailey on Fathers day 2022 

Bailey, 45, was arrested on Wednesday and is being held on a $500,000 bond charged with rape, child sexual abuse, incest, forcible sodomy and burglary 

Bailey, 45, had seen felony charges of lewd molestation against him dropped by the time he turned his attention to his daughter in 2012.

And in 2013 he admitted a separate charge of child abuse by injury against another of his children.

He would pray over me at first but he would do a lot of touching while he was praying, Oates told kjrh.com.

I knew how to set a boundary but when hes your father and when hes a pastor and when he has this authority and he has a record, its like you say no, but what does your no mean?

The assaults escalated and Bailey began raping his daughter after she turned 16 as she struggled to reconcile the public image of a loving father with the man who was abusing her.

The thing is when I was a kid I separated my dad from who he was, I had to, thats the only way I survived, she said.

I would call him my best friend only to hide the reality of what I was living.

And she claims that her father refused to release his hold over her even after she escaped the family home.

In 2021 after (she) moved out, got married, and had a baby, the defendant came into her residence unannounced, pushed her to the floor and forcibly orally sodomized her, the probable cause affidavit reads.

After that incident, the defendant began coming to (her) residence and looking in her windows.

Oates said her father began abusing her when she was a sixth grade student 

She claims he warned her that she would unleash a total catastrophe to the whole kingdom of God if she ever revealed what he was doing to her

The University of Oklahoma graduate describes himself as a community servant and a mens recovery counselor on his LinkedIn profile 

He was employed as a senior pastor at St Andrews in northern Tulsa in 2018 

Oates began confiding first in her husband, then an older brother and finally in her mother Aricca before they confronted Bailey.

In a series of text messages included in the affidavit the pastor admitted his guilt, telling his accusers I am an adulterer. I am a child molester. I am a rapist.

In one he admitted watching incest porn videos, adding that seeds of sin grow.

He allegedly told them he felt justified in having sex with his daughter because it was what people do.

Bailey also allegedly admitted abusing his daughter in conversations with his therapist and sent his wife an email exchange in which the counsellor warned him he had a legal duty to report the abuse to police.

In the email chain the defendant tells the therapist he understands his legal duty to report child abuse but that he felt tricked and thought he was safe to disclose in therapy, the affidavit notes.

Bailey, who describes himself as a community servant and a mens recovery counselor on his LinkedIn profile, is a University of Oklahoma graduate who has been a senior pastor at St Andrews since 2018.

His daughter went to police in August 2023, and on September 17 she announced that she was ready to press charges.

For too long, I suffered in silence, afraid of the repercussions of speaking out against someone with such influence and power, she wrote on Facebook.

The damage he has done is immeasurable. It has poisoned my relationships, poisoned my mind, she added.

It has filled me with doubts, with fears, with a sense of worthlessness that I struggle to overcome.

As a victim of sexual and mental abuse at the hands of Pastor Bailey for over a decade, I feel compelled to warn others about his predatory behavior.

Despite his status as a respected member of the community, it is essential to shed light on his actions to prevent further harm to unsuspecting individuals.

The following day, the rest of her family issued a statement offering her their full support.

You are a strong, intelligent and a talented young woman, they wrote.

No one should ever have their trust and safety violated in such a horrific way, especially by their own father.

We are all so deeply sorry this happened to you.

Oates and her mother Arrica went to the police after confronting Bailey about ther abuse

Oates confided originally in her husband Malachi with whom she has a young daughter  

Coming out of the darkness makes you a survivor, she told kjrh.com. Thats what I would say. It feels like Im not in the shadows anymore.

Bailey resigned from St Andrews on September 21 and has been held in Tulsa County Jail on a $500,000 bond since his arrest on Wednesday.

Another alleged victim of Bailey has since come forward as Oates prepares to face her father in court.

Think of a 13-year-old girl confused about who her true love is because her dad is saying Im your boyfriend, she said.

Im learning on trusting God more and I know he has me and every other victim.

He has been guiding me through this whole journey, and I know he will come for me like a father, even though my dad did not.

Coming out of the darkness makes you a survivor. Thats what I would say.

It feels like Im not in the shadows anymore.