How a love triangle with my husband and my best friend exposed a secret online group of shameless mistresses sleeping with married men
As Kristen Jacobs scrolled through TikTok one evening in September 2023, perhaps trying to distract herself from the gut-wrenching implosion of her personal life, her wounded heart must have dropped.
As Kristen Jacobs scrolled through TikTok one evening in September 2023, perhaps trying to distract herself from the gut-wrenching implosion of her personal life, her wounded heart must have dropped.
There on her phone was a woman she didnt recognize, reading out deeply personal and painful text messages that Jacobs says she had sent to her husbands mistress just weeks before.
I hate what was done to me, Jacobs says she wrote in the missives which were blasted out for all the world to see. I hate that weak areas in my marriage were used and exposed, she lamented in the texts narrated by a then-unknown woman.
To say the least, Jacobs, 37, was likely utterly shocked.
In August 2023, she had furiously texted her married best friend and next-door neighbor in the small town of Troy, Ohio, after allegedly discovering that Olivia Nicodemus, 38, was sleeping with her 41-year-old husband.
But how did these devastating details end up being shared on social media in a video captioned texts from betrayed wife to the other woman?
Jacobss bid to answer that question would lead to a series of disturbing revelations – including the allegation made in court filing that she was being spied on during her most intimate moments - and the discovery of an online support group for adulterers, called The Other Woman and The Wife (TOW), founded by California resident, Chelsea Smallwood.
It was, however, what Jacobs did next - by anonymously infiltrating TOW - that would spark dueling lawsuits.
Chelsea Smallwood, 38, (pictured) established TOW in 2022.
Olivia Nicodemus (pictured) also allegedly revealed in TOW chats, according to Jacobss court filings, that she was surveilling Jacobs.
In October 2023, Smallwood filed the first lawsuit in this courtroom battle – accusing Jacobs of joining TOW under false pretenses, violating the terms of her membership and interfering with Smallwoods business.
In Jacobss legal response, filed in December 2024, she denied Smallwoods allegations and launched a countersuit against Smallwood, Nicodemus and TOW for invasion of privacy, defamation, libel, slander, and intentional infliction of emotional distress.
Smallwood is contesting the counterclaim – and the cases are still moving from the Miami County, Ohio court system.
Now, the Daily Mail has obtained the explosive court documents in this legal fight and secured exclusive access to TOW to learn more about the controversial community at the center of this scandal.
Jacobss (pictured) bid to answer that question would lead to a series of disturbing revelations.
Smallwood, 38, established TOW in 2022. The TOW website says the group was created to allow for a judgement-free zone with empathetic guidance, insightful coaching, and a supportive community for women engaged in extra-marital affairs.
She told the Daily Mail that the group has 300 active members and thousands more who only read the content posted in community chatrooms. Most members, according to Smallwood, are women in their forties and fifties. The majority of them are married or in a relationship and having an affair. A few are single and dating married men.
They join, Smallwood claimed, because they have nowhere else to turn. Some say that they cannot discuss their secrets with their friends or family. Others say they feel trapped and ashamed.
Smallwood was married herself when she began an affair with a married colleague who had children. She said she broke up with her husband shortly thereafter and married her affair partner. They are together today and have three children.
Aggrieved spouses, like Jacobs, likely dont share Smallwoods sympathies.
For her part, Jacobs decided to join TOW to find out how and why her text messages were being leaked online.
She paid a $78 fee and joined the group anonymously then began trawling through their archives in search of her name, according to legal filings.
Almost immediately, the court paper says, she discovered that Nicodemus was not only a TOW member but worked as a coach, offering advice to aspiring and active adulterers, who purchased premier-level $800 TOW memberships.
Smallwood told the Daily Mail that the group has 300 active members and thousands more who only read the content posted in community chatrooms. (Pictured: Smallwood in a The Other Woman and The Wife promotion)
The TOW website says the group was created to allow for a judgement-free zone with empathetic guidance, insightful coaching, and a supportive community for women engaged in extra-marital affairs.
Jacobs alleged in her lawsuit that [Nicodemus] shared private and intimate details of her affair with [Kristen Jacobss] husband, including that [Nicodemus] engaged in intimate moments while Kristen was asleep in the same room and that [Nicodemus] used Kristens sex toys while Kristen was away for work.
When contacted about these lurid claims and others, both Jacobs and Nicodemus declined to offer comment to the Daily Mail.
Nicodemus also allegedly revealed in TOW chats, according to Jacobss court filings, that she was surveilling Jacobs. In one post on TOWs website, Olivia boasted of using binoculars to spy on an intimate sexual moment that Kristen and her husband shared within the privacy of their private property, the document states.
Additionally, according to Jacobss complaint, Nicodemus falsely identified Kristen as a member of a throuple, and falsely stated that Kristen has a sexually transmitted disease and allegedly made no attempt to protect Jacobss identity.
Finally, Jacobs claims in her court filing that when contacted Smallwood and asked her to remove the offensive posts, Smallwood refused. Instead, Jacobs alleges that Smallwood turned Jacobss private correspondence into social media content, using Kristens trauma as clickbait.
Chelsea [Smallwood] made at least a dozen videos... disclosing the personal and intimate information, according to the filings. These videos were posted on social media websites such as TikTok, YouTube, and Instagram.
Jacobs claims in her court filing that when contacted Smallwood and asked her to remove the offensive posts, Smallwood refused. (Pictured: Chelsea Smallwood)
Smallwood hasn’t let the unpleasantness deter her from creating new content and expanding her platform. In one of her latest posts, she tries to set out once again how her complex community views affairs. ‘It’s a landscape of contradictions: profound connection alongside persistent guilt, rare authenticity wrapped in necessary deception, she writes.
In February, Jacobs settled her case with Nicodemus for an undisclosed sum and was dropped as a defendant. Nicodemus’s marriage, however, did not survive the turmoil and her husband has since remarried. Today, Nicodemus appears to live next door to Jacobs, who public records show is still living with her husband.
Today, Nicodemus appears to live next door to Jacobs, who public records show is still living with her husband.
And Smallwood hasn’t let the unpleasantness deter her from creating new content and expanding her platform. In one of her latest posts, she tries to set out once again how her complex community views affairs.
‘It’s a landscape of contradictions: profound connection alongside persistent guilt, rare authenticity wrapped in necessary deception.
‘The complexity isn’t found in society’s black-and-white judgment, but in the thousand shades of gray you live in daily… In this space, we don’t condone or condemn—we acknowledge the human experience in all its messy reality,’ she wrote.
Unfortunately for both Smallwood or Jacobs, all that ‘messy reality’ may soon be aired in court. And a jury’s judgment is likely to be very black and white.