FLOURISHING AFTER 50: I helped pay off my husbands mortgage - but his will could leave my homeless
Dear Vanessa, Im in a difficult situation and could really use your advice.
Dear Vanessa,
Im in a difficult situation and could really use your advice. My husband and I have been married for 15 years, and we live in a home that was his before we met. When we decided to move in together, I sold my apartment and put that money toward paying off his mortgage, thinking we were building a future together.
Now his health is declining, and Ive discovered that his will states that when he dies, I will get back what I contributed, but the rest of the houses value will go to his children. That means the house will have to be sold, and Ill be forced to leave, regardless of whether I want to stay.
My husband is older - in his late 60s, and doesnt want to upset his children by changing his will. Ive asked him to reconsider so that I can remain in the house for the rest of my life, with his children inheriting it after I pass, but they are completely against it. They see the house as their inheritance and dont want to wait.
I love my husband, but this situation is making me incredibly anxious. I dont want to spend his final years arguing over this, but I also dont want to end up without a home. Im in my late 50s and could live another 40 years - being forced to start over now is terrifying.
What should I do?
Maria.
Dear Maria,
This is a heartbreaking situation, and youre right to be concerned. You made a significant financial and emotional commitment to this home, yet the way the will is structured means that you could be left without security when your husband passes.
Leading money educator Vanessa Stoykov
Your husband likely thought he was being fair, ensuring you got back what you put in while still passing the house on to his children. But fairness isnt just about numbers; its about recognising the role youve played in his life and ensuring you have stability.
The first step is having a frank but calm conversation with him. Explain that its not just about money - its about having a place to call home for the rest of your life. If hes hesitant to change his will outright, suggest alternatives. A life interest trust could allow you to stay in the house while still guaranteeing the children inherit it later. Or, if staying in the house isnt an option, could a portion of his estate be allocated to help you buy something else?
Its also important to manage expectations with his children. They may see this as losing their inheritance, but they need to understand that inheritance shouldnt come at the cost of leaving you vulnerable. My book, The Five Conversations About Money to Radically Change Your Life, covers how to talk to adult children about money in a way that reduces conflict and helps find a fair resolution.
This is a difficult and emotional conversation, but one that needs to happen sooner rather than later. Your future is at stake, and you deserve a solution that protects you while still honouring your husbands wishes.
If you need professional advice, my free referral service can connect you with a financial adviser who can help you navigate this situation.
Years are completely understandable. The idea of losing your home, your stability, and the life youve built is overwhelming. And the truth is, many women find themselves in a similar position, not realising until its too late that they arent protected.
The best thing you can do is act now - have those hard conversations, get expert guidance, and make sure your future is secured. This is your home, your security, and your peace of mind at stake.
All the best,
Vanessa.