EXCLUSIVE Shocking sex secret of Special Forces war hero Heston Russell at the centre of the bitter fake news row with the ABC - as he makes a breathtaking confession
EXCLUSIVE Heston Russell has revealed he had sex with hundreds of women during his celebrated military career, despite knowing he was gay since he was a teenager.
EXCLUSIVE
Heston Russell has revealed he had sex with hundreds of women during his celebrated military career, despite knowing he was gay since he was a teenager.
Russell comes from a long line of distinguished soldiers and spent 16 years in the Army - mostly with Special Forces - presenting himself as a straight man.
The retired major is best known for winning a landmark defamation case against the ABC in 2023 after the national broadcaster wrongly linked him to alleged war crimes.
He has also founded a political party, run as a candidate for a Senate seat in Queensland and relentlessly campaigned for the rights of fellow veterans.
The former commando has now revealed the extraordinary untold story of his life in the seven-episode podcast series The ABCs of Heston Russell.
Released on Monday, the series delves into the emotional toll of combat and Russells court battle with the ABC, which resulted in a $400,000 payout.
Through intimate interviews with Russell and his family the podcast also explores in depth for the first time the long struggle he faced dealing with his sexuality.
Russell is a fifth-generation soldier whose forebears fought in World Wars I and II, as well as Korea and Vietnam. His father Mark spent more than 30 years in the Army.
Heston Russell slept with hundreds of women during his illustrious military career despite realising during his teenage years he was probably gay. The former commando has taken part in the new seven-episode podcast series The ABCs of Heston Russell
I grew up in the northern suburbs of Brisbane, and I cannot recall ever meeting someone that I knew was gay, Russell says in the podcasts third episode.
Id been brought up around the more masculine, military-style men, you know - a man is a man working on the farm, all this sort of stuff.
Russell was a fat, unpopular kid at high school and did his best to be attracted to girls because thats what I thought you were meant to do.
But I really struggled, he says. I never had a girlfriend, and I tried so hard.
I just never had any success attracting girls... I didnt have any success attracting anyone.
Home alone after school, Russell began watching Queer as Folk, the British television drama about three gay friends which was remade in the US in the early 2000s.
He would set a timer to record the program in secret then play back the videos to learn and study.
I remember being attracted to one of the guys on there, but really not attracted to one of the others, he tells the podcast. Particularly the whole feminine side of the sort of gay culture.
Russell comes from a long line of distinguished soldiers and spent 16 years in the Army - mostly with Special Forces - presenting himself as a straight man. He is pictured graduating from the Royal Military College - Duntroon in 2006 between his mother and sister
Russell approached his feelings in a very pragmatic and objective way, assuming he was going through a phase in which his body was working out what it liked.
His thought process went along these lines: Do I like this? Do I like that? You know? Im not gay. I cant be gay. Like, no one in my family is gay.
When Russell was 16 he heard one of the characters on Queer as Folk refer to a gay porn star. He googled the porn stars name and ended up seeing all this stuff.
Soon, the internet modem for the computer Russell was using was gone. His father told him he had taken the device away because youve been looking up things that you shouldnt have been looking at.
I remember I just wanted to die, Russell says. I was like, "Oh, okay". And then Dads like, "Yeah, well talk about it when I get home".
At the dinner table, Russells father asked him, Is this going to keep happening? and his son replied, Not, thats it. Its done.
Russell joined the army aged 17 in 2003, attending the Australian Defence Force Academy (ADFA) and Royal Military College, Duntroon.
I didnt have sex until I was 17, and it was with a girl at ADFA, he tells the podcast.
Russell is a fifth-generation soldier whose forebears fought in World War I and II, as well as Korea and Vietnam. His father Mark spent more than 30 years in the Army. He is pictured on a peacekeeping mission in Timor Leste in 2007
I set about trying to train myself sexually to be straight. Like, Ive had sex with hundreds of women.
Russell was in a rugby-playing alpha-male sort of culture in which he was hyper-aware and paranoid about not having a girlfriend.
So I chose to take on this identity where I was just promiscuous and would go out and pick up girls, he tells the podcast.
The challenge was to try and pick up the most attractive girl or to hit on the mates sister from the football club, and just constantly leave this trail of smoke and distraction.
Russell was not only trying to hide any prospect that I was gay but to physically try and train myself to be attracted to women.
And it just didnt work, he says. Like, I put in the effort. I mean, I watched female porn, all this sort of stuff.
I could be physically attracted to them, but there just wasnt this emotional attraction.
After serving in an infantry battalion and being sent on peacekeeping operations in Timor Leste, Russell qualified as a commando.
Russell was a fat, unpopular kid at high school and did his best to be attracted to girls because thats what I thought you were meant to do. He served four combat deployments in Afghanistan and was seconded to the US Rangers
He would complete four combat deployments to Afghanistan and be seconded to the 75th Ranger Regiment in the US, all the while never revealing he was homosexual.
Entering Special Forces meant undergoing training in interrogation techniques designed to break a subjects will and expose their every secret.
I had in my head that they were these, you know, witch doctors that were able to do these tricks on you that would all of a sudden have me sitting there in the chair getting hosed down, going, "Okay, Im gay - Im gay", he says.
I just thought my career would have been over, because I was always filled with so much self-doubt, you know, the inner saboteur and my inferiority complex.
But avoiding discussing his sexually within Special Forces was not hard for Russell because we were so operationally focused.
People arent sitting around talking about their girlfriends, their wives, who they had sex with on the weekend, he says. Its irrelevant. Emotions did not have a place in the military.
Youre so dedicated to a job where you need to be willing to pack up your stuff tomorrow and deploy into combat and kill people or be killed.
Throughout my whole military career, I never allowed myself to have a relationship. I never got attached to a girl or a guy.
Russell was dumbfounded when a US Ranger addressed a group of his fellow soldiers and said the regiment would never accept gay members. He is pictured above with Rangers at Fort Benning in Georgia in 2016
The first person Russell told he was gay was his sister in 2015 when he turned 30. When that went well, he told his mother.
Russells mother response was to tell her son that she loved him.
Hes probably the straightest gay that you would ever meet, she says in the podcast. Thats the only way I can put it. Hes lovely.
Russells coming out had so far run smoothly but he was still not ready to talk to his father due to the gay porn experience when he was a teen and an unsettling experience in the US with the Rangers.
The elite fighting force was about to break with tradition by allowing women to apply for the Rangers selection course and join their ranks at Fort Benning in Georgia.
At one of many meetings about that major change one Ranger got up and addressed the regiments colonel.
At the end of the day, were Rangers, we lead the way, he said. Were going to do what were told and were going to do this well.
And if a lady has what it takes to pass the course, were gonna have them on there.
Russell did not tell his father Mark he was gay until 2016. His father said, Yeah, I know that. Father and son are pictured in 2004 at the Australian Defence Force Academy
That speech was met with cheers but the Ranger had not finished talking.
But Ill tell you what, sir... if they keep trying to push this envelope and if they try to make us have openly gay homosexuals within this unit, we will not have that, he said.
When that declaration received an even greater cheer, Russell was dumbfounded. He had been to church, on shooting trips and to football games with the Rangers.
I wanted to stand up and be like, "Well, f*** you, Im gay. What the f*** have you got to say?"
Russell eventually summoned the courage to tell his father the truth after returning to Australia in 2016 and he recorded their conversation.
Russell: Hey, Dad, I do want to have a chat to you. Oh, this doesnt get any easier. Um, Im gay. Always have…
Russell snr: Yeah, I know that.
Russell: How did you know that?
Russell snr: I figured it. I figured it mate. I think Ive known that for a long time.
Russell: Okay.
Russell snr: Yeah, and it doesnt fuss me Heston. Good onya. Look, its who you are and its what you are. So you just have to know who you are and what you are.
Russell: Yeah, and I do. I do now. I mean, Im not saying Im bloody out, parading around, doing anything at all. I keep everything to myself, but Im just comfortable in my own skin.
The ABCs of Heston Russell is produced by journalist Bryan Seymour and hosted by Acast. All episodes are available to stream now on Apple, Spotify and wherever you listen to your podcasts.