Wes Streeting bowled into the Commons having just declared war on workshy fatties.
Health secretary Wes had let it be known he might approve weight-loss injections to help the fuller-bodied find jobs.
Sadly there was no mention of this bold idea when he and his ministers faced Commons health questions.
The session lasted 70 minutes yet no one raised the matter.
Is tubbiness a taboo? Were MPs worried about sounding cruel? Or did they fear their own waistlines might attract scrutiny?
Health secretary Wes had let it be known he might approve weight-loss injections to help the fuller-bodied find jobs - but sadly there was no mention of this bold idea when he and his ministers faced Commons health questions
A big-boned Labour man from Lichfield, swathed in a rhubarb-coloured suit, soon made himself scarce.
After belching a few unpleasantries at the tiny regiment of Tories he scratched his groin one last time before toddling out, quite possibly to a midday lunch.
Actually this Commons is slimmer than recent predecessors. Twenty years ago, 60 per cent of MPs were said to be overweight.
Today the figure (dread word) would be lower. Many of Labours new intake are, if anything, on the weedy side.
Lib Dem benches are infested with pasty-faced celery-munchers. The near-child who now represents Maidstone for them looks as if he could do with a string vest and daily doses of multi-vit Minadex to build him up for the winter months.
The Libs have changed, in some ways at least, since Cyril Smith.
The election cost the Tories several of their red-wall trenchermen who could pack away a plate of faggots and still accommodate treacle pud and custard, a speciality of the Commons terrace cafeteria.
As you may notice from this columns picture byline, their absence now leaves more pud for sketch writers.
Back to Mr Streeting. What a piece of work. He is noisy and impish, eyes darting, lips pouting with everything from shock to scorn to merriment.
Lord Alli will be pleased to hear the health sec is spick and span and generally as fresh as a Chelsea bun.
At 41, he remains youthful and his zest is enriched by our knowledge that he underwent treatment for cancer in 2021.
Few Conservatives could have got away with his comments on fat unemployed people.
Wes Streeting is Matt Hancock without the wandering hands, Michael Gove with a London accent. In debate he is embarrassingly more nimble than the current Prime Minister (pictured)
It may help that Mr Streeting is himself no stranger to the biscuit barrel.
There is also a daring about Mr Streeting – perhaps the cancer made him fearless – that sets him apart.
He is Matt Hancock without the wandering hands, Michael Gove with a London accent. In debate he is embarrassingly more nimble than the current Prime Minister.
Young Wess one problem is that he is, basically, a Rightie, supremely relaxed about the private sector.
That may explain why he spent the first part of question time spouting exaggerated attacks on the Tories, saying how furious he was about the state in which the Tories left the NHS.
This hyperbole was an obvious gambit for Left-wing approval. His minister of state Stephen Kinnock made similar attacks but they rang a quite different tone.
Mr Kinnock sounded as if he meant the anti-Tory abuse. Whereas from Mr Streeting it came across as mere performance.
With a polish of his halo he added: Were not gonna get everything right, were never gonna pretend things are better than they are. Likely tale!
There is a shamelessness about Mr Streeting that audiences recognise and probably enjoy.
His Conservative shadow, Victoria Atkins, noted that certain important Labour manifesto undertakings on health had yet to come to much.
Hes no Action Man, hes Anchor Man, trilled Miss Atkins.
Did she mean Anchor Butter? Mr Streetings jowls wobbled with delight at this sportive attack.
Esther McVey (Conservative MP for Tatton) requested an update on the state of Alan Milburn – a reference to a Blair-era health secretary who has, amid controversy about his private-sector links, been advising Wes behind the arras.
Mr Streeting leapt to the despatch box and fluently replied: Alan Milburn is alive, hes safe and were treating him well. Even the Tories laughed at his quickness.
If Wes Streeting were Labour leader instead of that blocked sink Starmer, how different things would feel.